When designing a memorial, most monument builders are comfortable with heavy input from family – perhaps hours of consultation, many phone calls,

and a long trail of e-mail or letters. But can you imagine taking this one step further and allowing the mother of the deceased to come into your shop, take up hammer, chisel and other tools and work side by side with your staff on

completing the design in granite? That’s exactly what happened at Eden Memorials Inc. in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The end result was a one-of-a-kind memorial and a special bond that developed between mother and memorialist.

rant Eugene Tindall passed away as the result of a car collision on December 27, 2005.  Kathleen Tindall, the young man’s mother, contacted our company and others trying to find someone to help her create a suitable memorial for her son.  Her idea for her son’s monument was far beyond the usual.  Monument builders are used to dealing with different stages of grief, but Kathleen was more than grieving – she was frustrated and disheartened:  “No one understood what I wanted, or at least no one was interested in working with me on it.”  Kathleen was relieved and pleased with the receptive and supportive response she received when she talked to us.

 Because Kathleen’s family is Icelandic, she has strong roots in the culture and wanted a memorial that reflected her son Brant and his keen interest in his Icelandic/Viking heritage.  “Brant’s Stone,” as his monument is very lovingly referred to by his family and friends, combines the memories, thoughts, emotions and spirit of Brant. Kathleen and Steve were able to artfully interpret the importance of Brant and skilfully engrave his essence in stone. Only through this unique circumstance could this be accomplished.

 When Kathleen was first introduced to Steve Iwaniw, our artist and designer, she asked if she could watch him while he worked on the monument.  Steve countered by asking her, “How about if I put a hammer and chisel in your hands and you can help?” Kathleen enthusiastically welcomed the idea. As she later explained:  “At one time when a loved one passed away, the family cleansed the body, buried it and created their own memorial.  I feel we dissociate ourselves from reality today by not being more involved in the memorialization process. Yes, it hurt to be personally working on my son’s memorial, but I felt compelled to do this for Brant.”

 Participating in this act of loving kindness for her own son was Kathleen’s way of bringing part of the past to the present. It added a healing element to her grieving process, and gave her another way of showing her enduring love, pride and caring for her son.

Careful Study Before Action

Steve spent several hours on the monument before ever touching the rock.  He would stand in front of it and gaze at it, envisioning its various elements and how they could work together.  Figuring out the spacing of the lettering around the edge of the stone required some mathematics and geometry.  He walked among us, but his mind was in that world of creativity all the time.

 As they say, “Well begun is half done.”  When Steve did put his planning into action, there was no going back.  The set up and pre-work took many hours, and were a labor of love for Steve, who lived, breathed, and dreamed the project both on and off the job until it’s completion.  Every step was planned in sequence, and by the time it was finished, the monument perfectly embodied Steve’s interpretation of Kathleen’s vision in every way.

 Throughout the many stages of working on Brant’s monument, things fell into place in uncanny ways, giving Steve and Kathleen the sense that Brant was there with them, helping them along.  One of these moments came as the two were putting the finishing touches on the monument, and the radio in the background played Brant’s and his girlfriend’s “couple” song, “Times Like These” by the Foo Fighters, giving Kathleen a sense of acknowledgement and confirmation of Brant’s approval. 

 The final step was the pilgrimage to the Tindall family farm, some 120 miles away from the shop where it was made.  There it stands, a lone monument, surrounded by acres of grass, trees, and rocks on the family homestead.  It was installed on Brant’s birthday: a monument fit for a Viking, one that truly honors the love of a mother for her son. 

 Brant had been cremated and the family keeps his ashes at home. When one of his parents passes away – not for many years we hope – they will be buried together as one.

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 The family had a concrete pad made for the monument

and on the pad they wrote: IF LOVE COULD HAVE SAVED YOU.  

Each of Brant’s three brothers, his fiancée and parents put their

handprints in the concrete to ensure their memories.

Brant was an extremely creative, natural artist.

The family has saved many drawings that he created over the years.

The Designer’s Perspective

By Steve Iwaniw

 When we started the project, Kathleen showed us some preliminary ideas, plus the different components she wanted to incorporate.  It was clear that the centre of the piece was going to be around the sun (son).  The emanating rays were initially panels with inscriptions.  I told her, “I don’t think this will work; let me think about it.”  

 I drew a pencil drawing showing my initial thoughts/visions, which really weren’t too far from the finished product.  I had a piece of scrap that I had tried some work on – from an idea that didn’t get used from an earlier customer.  I had seen the work and technique in numerous memorials and realized this was the only way Kathleen’s concept for the rays was going to work. 

 In the beginning, I had Brant’s names starting from the centre of the sun and running along the rays.  Then I discovered the magic of concentric circles.  As it turned out, the length of the names worked out pretty darn good, which added to the effect.  There was a learning curve happening throughout the process.  For instance, the rays had to be split after a certain length, then split again further on.

 I used someone else’s design for the ship, just changing the dragon head to match the head on the Tindall family crest that hangs at the entrance to the family farm.  The Valkyrie was presented to me as a discovered relic – small.  The idea fit with everything, but the picture didn’t.  I explained my problem and Kathleen suggested me incorporate her into the water.  That inspired me to integrate the Valkyrie into the flow of the waves.  She’s almost hidden in the picture – you have to look for her.  (By the way, in Viking mythology, the Valkyries were beautiful maidens who carried the souls of the slain to Valhalla.)

 Kathleen’s final suggestion was to add a fish which added more interest and movement in the waves.  My favourite bit of “symbolism,” if you will, is that the Valkyrie, fish, and ship look like they are going somewhere.

 The only time a computer was used in the entire project was to generate the invoice. 

 As an indication of how important this project was to me, when it was finished, I said to Kathleen, “What am I going to do now?” Call it post-partum depression, if you will, but I felt empty, directionless.

 As for my bond with Kathleen, how many times does it happen that a customer says to you, “I’m going to miss you.”  That sums it up.

MONUMENT DETAILS

 The monument is a Back to Nature design in Mahogany from Coldspring Granite.

It is 3-ft X 1-ft 10-in. X 4-ft, all rough with a smooth face.

 There is no English on the monument except for the dates of birth and death. Everything else is written in Runes, the Viking alphabet called the Fathark.

 Around the outer edge of the monument are words that when translated mean:

 Love well and be loved

Find the humor and laugh

Defend your beliefs and what is yours, no matter what the cost

Never give up, I will never give up on you

Life is not to be feared, but your big brother is

And always kiss the fish

 The fish and the phrase always kiss the fish signify putting that little extra bit of yourself in whatever you do. Whatever Brant did, he always added a little something special to it.

 The sun at the top is Brant’s own signature that he designed in a drafting course and adopted as his.

 The writing in the middle is Brant’s name in Runic.

 The Viking ship symbolizes the vessel used for his soul’s journey. The Valkyrie is the spirit guide to take him from this world to the next. The carved lines that are emanating from the sun are the sun’s rays that go on for eternity.